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How To Use Anal Fingering To Double Your Pleasure

Anal Sex Podcast

If you want to learn some powerful anal sex techniques for intense orgasms, then you may want to listen to this podcast episode. You’ll learn 11 things you must do in order to make it wildly pleasurable, fun & satisfying and avoid any pain, embarrasment or mess.

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Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you’ll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You’ll also learn the 5 dangerous & “dumb” sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.

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Preparation

As with fingering her pussy, it’s always a good idea to keep your fingernails nice and trimmed so that she doesn’t experience any pain or injury.

In addition, you’ll want to wash your hands thoroughly before and after anal play.

Now, with fingering her ass you must make sure you have some of the best lube available. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. So, while you can get away with fingering and eating a girl’s pussy without lube if she’s turned on, you can’t really expect to have a good time fingering her anus going in raw.

Most lubricants you find in stores will do the job. Water-based, silicone-based, and even natural oils such as grapeseed and olive oil are fine. Just make sure you have some form of lubricant to use! If you don’t, it can be rather painful.

Now there’s the mental component of preparation. Anal is often seen as taboo and, for men, it can be seen as effeminate. It’s important to understand and give your partner time to loosen up and relax. It’s crucial they are prepared for this experience. It’s okay if they are a bit uncomfortable at first, but be sure to stop if at any time if it becomes too painful.

Now we’ll proceed with some nice techniques.

Do you need a lot of lube?

Generally, a silicone lube, or even coconut oil, is good for anal sex. But for anal fingering? Not so much. When anything wet first touches the anus, Doe says, it will generally tense up, because it’s only used to wet things coming out of it, not going in. So, take it easy and introduce a dry finger to the outside first.

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Set one finger against your partner’s anus. This, she explains, is “just to let the anus know ‘Hey, we’re here. We’re friendly. We want to do more. Are you interested in that?'” Then, when the anus starts to, in Doe’s words, “pucker,” it’s time for the lube. This pucker means the external anal sphincter is having a reflexive contraction, and that happens when your partner strokes the skin around the area.

From Anal Fingering to Anal Sex

Anal play is a good way to get your partner comfortable with anal sex, but it’s not always a direct connection between the two.

The fact is that anal sex is more intense than anal fingering. This may be something your partner is interested in, or they may be happy with the pleasure they get from fingering alone.

Just as the techniques above offered a slow, intentional introduction to anal fingering, you can follow the same path to anal sex. For some, this may be adding more fingers or introducing a small dildo into the anus. As your partner becomes more comfortable, you can increase the size of the dildo or even use the tip of your penis to gently penetrate.

Remember that anal sex doesn’t have to be the end goal. You and your partner may be happy with the pleasure derived from anal fingering alone and that’s perfectly alright.

Anal fingering Tip 1: Start Small

Start anal fingering by inserting just your fingertip. Using the pad of your finger, gently pull down on the anal opening and slide your fingertip in past the first sphincter. Massage just inside the anal opening, providing a little stimulation to help relax the internal sphincter, while also bringing attention to the whole butt!

Why is anal fingering a good place to start?

Often, couples try to do too much too soon with anal sex—immediately penetrating the anus with a penis or something of similar size.

“Everyone just goes from zero to 100 and there’s no delicate time to sort of experiment with what feels good,” Sinclair says. “If you’re going to penetrate with something the size of a penis, you really need to graduate to those sizes.”

You likely introduce fingers to your vulva before inserting a penis or toy during foreplay, right? So, why treat your butt any differently?

Anal Fingering for Him

Now that you’re cleaned up or your partner is ready to explore some anal fingering, what can do you. Let’s start with ideas for him.

A man’s anus is one of the most powerful erogenous zones in his body thanks to the prostate. The prostate is located around two inches inside a man’s anus, toward his stomach. You can curl your fingers during anal fingering, and curved toys work better for prostate stimulation. It feels somewhat like a walnut, and your man will likely recognize it as soon as you find it. Although, some men don’t.

The prostate responds to greater pressure than other erogenous zones. Some men like on-and-off pressure from the pad of a finger, while others will simply like the feeling of their prostate being pressed during sexual intercourse or a blowjob.

However, not every man loves prostate play, and there are other options when it comes to anal fingering to him. You can slowly work your way closer to his anus and rub around the anus and the puckered ring.  A simple in-and-out motion might be pleasurable while you’re pleasing him with your other hand or mouth, and you can add more fingers as he becomes comfortable with the sensation.

Getting Started with Anal Fingering

Getting ready to put your finger(s) in someone’s butt requires a little bit of preparation. Always make sure your hands are clean and free of cuts, hangnails, or rough nails. Some people like to trim their nails before anal fingering, but if you’d prefer to maintain your nail length (or stunning manicure), you can also use latex or nitrile gloves. In addition to making your hands smoother, gloves help prevent fluid transmission and are an excellent safer sex tool. They also make clean up easier!

Some receivers of anal penetration like to use an anal douche or enema, while others just prefer a shower. All of these hygiene decisions are personal, so make sure you do what feels most comfortable for you. Make sure you have plenty of lube, all of your safer sex supplies, and maybe a slim vibrating plug around when you play.

When choosing a good lube for anal, choose a lube that is compatible with all of your safer sex supplies and toy materials.

We recommend using a thick water-based lube for anal fingering, which will be compatible with any toys and barriers and can also be used internally or externally all over the body.

What to Do After Anal Fingering

Wash your hands

You want to wash your hands when you’re done with anal fingering. You can wait until you’re done with your sexual session except if you want to transition from anal fingering to vaginal fingering. You don’t want to transfer bacteria from the anus to the vagina, Matatas says. So in that situation, you want to wash your hands before touching your partner’s vagina.

Engage in sexual aftercare

It’s an intense experience to have something inside of you, especially if you never have before. If you were the top, check-in with your partner after the sexual experience to see how they’re feeling and if there’s anything you can do to support them.

Zachary Zane Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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