Content of the material
- Why is fingering so good?
- Internal Anatomy
- 1 Vagina
- 2 G-Spot
- 3 A-Spot
- 4 Cervix
- Don’t underestimate fingering
- How To Use Props When You Finger Her
- 9. Touch the Clit Lightly
- 3. Start slow
- Do You Know How To Stimulate Her G-Spot?
- 6. Persistent, rhythmic stimulation is key
- 6. Be a Tease
- How To Finger A Girl: The Deep Spot Stimulation
- How To Locate The Deep Spot
- How To Stimulate The Deep Spot
- Do you need to penetrate when you finger someone?
- How to Finger Your Girl: Tips and Tricks
- 1 Clean your hands.
- 2 Clean and smoothen your fingernails.
- 3 Have a water-based lube within reach.
- 4 Go slow.
- 5 Stimulate other parts of her body.
- Fingering 101: 16 Steps to Finger
- 1. Know the female anatomy
- 2. Every woman is different
- 3. Prepare ahead of time
- 4. Tease her
- 5. Use lubricant
- 6. There’s a beginning, middle, and end
- 7. Use your fingers
- 8. Experiment with touch
- 9. Find the G-spot
- 10. Hit the bullseye: The clitoris
- 11. Find the rhythm
- 12. Don’t be shy to let her show you
- 13. Let her tell you when to stop
- 14. Pay attention to her reaction
- 15. Keep communication open
- 16. Enjoy the experience
- How to finger when your fingers get tired
Why is fingering so good?
There are some solid reasons to include fingering during sex:
- Some women orgasm more easily with manual rather than penetrative sex.
- The size of your penis isn’t important.
- Many women bring themselves to climax manually. So they are used to it, and more likely to orgasm if you stimulate them the same way.
- If you ejaculate quickly, you can continue with your fingers.
- In 2018, a large survey of 25,000 women showed manual stimulation with sex massively increases the chance of orgasm. Just 35% always orgasm during sex, and 65% usually. But with manual included, it jumped to 86%.
Once you figured out how to rub the right parts by learning the parts of the vulva, you can now dive deep with the internal parts of your partner’s genitalia, particularly with around the vagina. Once you know the right spots, it will be easy to learn the best ways on how to finger a girl.
It’s a tight and hollow tube that connects your partner’s vulva with her cervix and uterus. It might be tight at first but this tube is very stretchy and expands when you feel aroused. The vagina also has the different spots that can make your partner squrim with pleasure.
You’ve probably heard this a lot of times, but do you actually know where it is located? As seen in the diagram above, the G-spot is located about 2-3 inches inside the anterior wall of her vagina. It has subtle ridges that will be helpful when finding this spot. Just make sure you make her super horny first before rubbing this spot.
Looking for a deeper spot? Well, there’s the A-spot. As you can see in the diagram above, it’s located on the anterior wall by the cervix. Also known as the ‘deep spot’, you can assure powerful vaginal orgasms when this spot is stimulated. However, it can be pretty hard to reach with your fingers. Investing in sex toys such as or long vibrators or dildos may help you reach this spot.
As seen in the diagram above, this is located at the end of the vagina that divides your vagina and uterus. It’s very sensitive and may cause some pain when stimulated. However, some women find it pleasurable. That being said, communicate with your girl about this first before stimulating her cervix.
Don’t underestimate fingering
Fingering is a great choice for lots of reasons. Your partner is more likely to reach orgasm this way, and if you’re shooting for multiple orgasms then manual might be essential.
And whilst men don’t usually yearn for hand jobs, many women are grateful that their partner is willing to try manual.
So don’t underestimate the sensual potential of good manual stimulation. Variety is the spice of life, after all, and your partner will appreciate some attention from your lusciously creative fingers.
How To Use Props When You Finger Her
Interested in making your fingering techniques even more fun, naughty, and pleasurable for her?
Good! Well listen up…
Props can be simple but effective ways to bring out her naughtiest side.
For example, have you ever used a blindfold?
Covering her eyes so that she can’t see a thing will do a couple of things.
Firstly it will massively heighten her sensations.
Think about it – if you can’t see a damn thing then all your attention will flow to the part of your body that is being stimulated.
A doubling or tripling of pleasurable sensations being sent straight from her pussy to her brain.
Secondly: many women are insecure about their body image.
And who can blame them with all the photoshopped perfect models and Instagram girls these days?
But when she can’t see herself, she simply stops worrying and starts enjoying the intense sensation of a well-placed finger on her g-spot.
Additionally, it’s just super naughty and kinky – just look at how popular 50 Shades Of Grey is – women love this stuff and secretly fantasize about having it done to them.
Handcuffs are another prop that can be very effectively used to make a girl orgasm using just your fingers.
It’s a control thing.
She wants to give over control to you. So when you handcuff both of her hands to the bedpost, blindfold her so she can’t see a thing, and then use these amazing fingering techniques to stimulate her like never before she going to practically pass out from pleasure overload.
Handcuffs are a symbolic way of you saying
“Baby, this is all about you”
“You’re all mine, and I don’t want you to do anything but lie there and enjoy what’s about to happen.”
There is something that women find extremely kinky and exciting about being handcuffed and ‘taken care of’ by a man who knows what he’s doing.
And this causes a surge of adrenaline that adds to the neurochemicals being released when your finger her – the result is a cocktail of pleasurable chemicals flowing through her body.
(And yes, those natural chemicals being released by her own body can be highly addictive – don’t say I didn’t warn you when she comes begging for more and starts initiating sex at every opportunity.)
And by the way, you don’t need to use actual handcuffs for this to work.
Her own panties…
all work great to tie up her hands and give up control to you.
9. Touch the Clit Lightly
According to the women surveyed, the most commonly appreciated “first touch” of the clit is one that’s feather-light. One woman even compared the initial touch she likes to rubbing honey on a butterfly’s wing. Keep your touch delicate and light so that your fingertip isn’t even moving the skin, just gliding over it.Remember, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, so proceed gently!
3. Start slow
Remember, it’s a marathon not a sprint. Vulvas respond well to stimulation that is sensual and slow. This is because it takes an average of at least 15 minutes of stimulation for a vulva-owner to reach orgasm. Fingering is not an exercise in instant gratification. Instead, it helps to think about it as a story with a beginning, middle and end.
Don’t start at the end of the story by launching straight into clitoral stimulation. Instead, craft a narrative: slowly reel in your partner’s attention, draw out new characters and twists, build up the tension and then – only then, when they are hanging onto each word – is it time to unveil the ending.
Start slow and gentle and steadily increase the speed and intensity as you gravitate towards more sensitive terrain. This isn’t just about setting the right pace: it encourages blood to flow to your partner’s genitals. This amps up their arousal, making them more receptive to intense stimulation and pulling them closer to the beginnings of orgasm.
Anna Pogossova Getty Images
Do You Know How To Stimulate Her G-Spot?
At first, you may want to use just one finger slowly inserted inside her with your palm facing the roof.
Make sure the finger is well lubed and the lube is at body temperature. A cold hand will sharply reduce her arousal, and you will have to build her arousal back up again.
There are three basic motions that can be used to stimulate her g-spot with your finger(s).
The first motion (and the most important one) is the come hither motion. The fingers are curled upwards and moved in and out towards your palm.
This is what can quite often make her have a squirting orgasm.
The second motion is the windscreen wiper motion.
The curled fingers are moved from side to side across the g-spot, essentially wiping her g-spot.
The tips of your fingers will be pointing towards her left hip and then her right hip. The third motion is the barrel roll inside her. Use the tips of your fingers to make a circular motion inside the vagina.
Use the three motions with either one or two fingers to stimulate her g-spot.
6. Persistent, rhythmic stimulation is key
Look, we’ve all been here. When our partners are clearly really into something, that turns us on too. The way they are responding to touch is so hot that we might alter our rhythm or pressure because we want to make them feel even better. But while that’s an understandable reaction, it’s one you’re best to avoid. When your partner is loving what you’re doing, it’s a sure sign that you should stick to it.
Successful fingering comes down to persistent and rhythmic stimulation. If the pace and pressure are working, make sure you keep going – unless your partner asks for something different.
Want a helping hand? Maybe you might want to work in a clitoral vibrator to further arouse their clit. Begin with a low setting and speed to keep this stimulation persistent and consistent. According to how they like it, you might gently brush the vibrator against their clit to tease them, or apply the toy just above it.
6. Be a Tease
Approach the crotch area, but keep passing by it as if it’s invisible. One woman from the study likened this tactic to playing with a cat. If you reach right for it, it runs away. If you tease and don’t stroke it, it comes to you.
Another woman described a method she calls the “fake out.” To do it, you move your fingertip down your partner’s body from her neck to her breasts to her stomach, but instead of landing at her crotch, veer down her leg. Then, on the way back up, move your fingertip in another path that misses her crotch, too. These moves build anticipation and help awaken arousal. Many women love this kind of withholding and will eventually move their crotch toward your finger or tongue as it passes by — a good sign that the clit is ready to be touched. The more awake her body is, the more pleasurable it will be when you finally touch her clitoris.
How To Finger A Girl: The Deep Spot Stimulation
A lot of guys don’t even know that deep spot exists, but it’s real, and if you can properly stimulate it, it can lead to extremely powerful orgasms.
How To Locate The Deep Spot
Her deep spot (sometimes also called the A-spot) is located pretty deep in her vagina. Basically, you slide your fingers in and locate her G-spot. After that, you keep going deeper into the vagina following the front wall until you feel a smooth surface.
That’s her deep spot.
Here’s a pic to help you out.
Because this area is so deep in her vagina, your girl has probably never had her deep spot stimulated. (unless you have an 8-inch cock) And, unless she is using (again, an 8-inch) dildo, she’s also unlikely to be able to finger the deep spot by herself.
That means that because these sensations are new to her, you can (usually) make her squirt within 10 minutes.
How To Stimulate The Deep Spot
Once you find the deep spot, start applying pressure on it. Start off with gentle stroking, but then increase pressure until she experiences discomfort.
I suggest you start off with one finger and then after she has “warmed up” a little, slide another finger in.
I found that making circular motions with your fingers works best. You can do them clockwise or counterclockwise, but I think that it’s best to mix and match – you want to keep her guessing.
Another cool technique you can use is to focus on one tiny area of the deep spot and just finger that spot relentlessly. Since your area of movement is pretty limited, your fingering speed is a crucial factor here – this is not the time to go slow and steady.
A word of warning. The deep spot fingering technique is the most likely time when your hand will begin cramping. (probably at the same time she’s most turned on, too)
The key to preventing this is to assume a comfortable position from the very start – one where your working hand is in a natural position.
Applying just this one tip will allow you to finger her for 10…20…even 30 minutes without stopping. It greatly improves your chances of managing to finger her long enough for her to achieve an orgasm.
Now, what position you choose depends entirely on your situation. Are you both lying down in bed? Is she on a sofa? Are you two standing up? Etc.
One last thing. (and this goes both for the G-spot and the deep spot)
Because these so-called “pleasure spots” are located near her urethra, she might have a sudden urge to pee when you finger her long enough. She might not even tell you that – she will just stop you and tell you to wait a second.
Ask her: “do you feel you’re going to pee? You’re not…trust me.” And then continue with the fingering. That’ll show her that you know what you’re doing and that you are in complete control.
All in all, the deep spot is something that most guys are not aware of and, if you apply the tips above and finger her properly, you can bring her pleasure she never even imagined.
Do you need to penetrate when you finger someone?
Good fingering doesn’t need to include penetration. Many people find it easier to orgasm from external stimulation. But internal stimulation can also provide a great deal of pleasure if it’s something you and your partner would like to try.
Once you get the go-ahead from your partner, continue the slow pace. Start with just one or two fingers and move very slowly, checking in as you go. If you’re interested in exploring G-spot stimulation, slide your fingers along the anterior wall of the vagina (up towards the belly) until you’re an inch or two deep and you feel a slightly different texture. Remember, everybody is different and there’s no way to find the right spot without talking to your partner and asking what feels good.
What you’re actually stimulating is the urethral sponge, an area of the CUV complex that is often the last to swell with arousal — so it’s best to wait until your partner is really turned on before trying this.
You’ve probably heard the advice to use a “come hither” motion with your fingers. And while that might get you in the right neighborhood, make sure you avoid using the tips of your fingers or fingernails, since they tend to poke and fingernails can cause damage. Instead, focus on using the pads of your fingers to either press upward in a rhythmic way or move in little circles. Again, check-in about what’s most pleasurable.
How to Finger Your Girl: Tips and Tricks
Now that you’ve learned the proper techniques, you might think that you’re already ready for some finger action but step back right there. Keep in mind these tips and tricks first. This will ensure a safe, fun and pleasurable experience for you and your girl.
1 Clean your hands
Having clean and sanitized hands will prevent your partner from having infections.
2 Clean and smoothen your fingernails
Buddy, you’re supposed to make her squirm in pleasure, not pain. Cut and file those long nails before the deed.
3 Have a water-based lube within reach
The vagina can produce lubricants when fully aroused. However, there are times that the vagina can’t self-lubricate. With that, the lube is your bestfriend. Cover an ample amount of lube in your hand/fingers when fingering her.
4 Go slow
One of the best ways on how to finger a girl is by starting it slow. Kiss her all over. Play with her boobs for a bit. Dry hump her. Tease her pussy for a bit. Make her crave for more.
5 Stimulate other parts of her body
While your one of your hands is busy fingering her. You can also use the other hand to massage the other parts of her body such as her boobs or butt. You can also suck her nipples, lick her ear or passionately make out with her.
One of the biggest insecurities for women is the look of their pussy. Take some time to genuinely rave about it. This will make her less conscious of her pussy and focus on the pleasure instead.
Fingering 101: 16 Steps to Finger
You know why fingering is important, but now the question is: do you know how to finger? Well, don’t worry, you’ve come to the right place. We’re going to teach you everything to need to know about fingering the right way.
1. Know the female anatomy
You don’t need to be a gynecologist, but you should be familiar with the female anatomy. This is truly the first and most crucial step you need to take before going near a vagina. How can you know what to do if you don’t know where everything is? There are four areas you’ll want to learn and pay close attention to:
- Outer Labia: If you know about pubic hair, then you know about the outer labia. The two lips that are cover the vulva are the outer labia. There aren’t many nerve endings located in the outer labia; however, rubbing them with your hands and fingers can feel arousing.
- Inner Labia: So, you have the outer labia where the lips have pubic hair, but there’s also the inner labia. These sets of lips do not have pubic hair on them. The inner labia are made of susceptible and thin skin and can be stimulated by gently stroking them.
- Vaginal Opening: If you’ve had sex before, the vaginal opening is where the penis is inserted. It’s located further back, closer to the anus. The vaginal opening is also where lubrication takes place. When a woman is aroused, she produces a natural lubricant that secrets from the vaginal opening. This area is where you’ll insert your fingers when fingering your partner.
- Clitoris: This is one of the most sensitive parts of the female body and is designed only for pleasure. The clitoris is button-like and rests under the clitoral hood. The clitoral hood is formed by the two sides of the inner labia connecting. Now, if you’re not sure where that is, it’s best to look at a diagram or ask your partner.
2. Every woman is different
Before we start talking about how to finger, it’s important to understand that every woman is different. Each vagina has its own space, size, and smell. No two vaginas are the same. When it comes to fingering, you’ll need to adjust your techniques, speed, and pressure.
It’s crucial to pay attention to your partner because everyone has their sexual preferences. So, if you have a technique that works on other women, don’t assume it’ll work on your partner. You’ll probably need to make adjustments.
3. Prepare ahead of time
Before fingering your partner, it’s vital to have clean, and well-manicured hands. Genitals are an extremely sensitive and delicate area. Your hands touch thousands of different things and are exposed to countless types of bacteria that could harm the vagina.
To avoid any injury or infection, make sure you trim your fingernails, and your hands are clean. Long fingernails can cut and scratch the vulva and that’s a painful experience.
If you’re a Spanish guitar player, you’re going to have a hard time fingering a woman.
4. Tease her
You can’t just go right into fingering your partner. If there’s one piece of advice to remember, it’s to start slowly. There’s no need to rush; you’ll get there eventually. To start, spend time in foreplay; making out, touching, caressing.
And then slowly, work your way down to her legs. As you move down her body, rub against her crotch with either your thigh, pelvis, or hand.
Don’t rush through this as foreplay is what warms up the body. It’ll take between fifteen to twenty minutes for her to become aroused, and during that time you should tease her. That’s the best part of foreplay, not getting what you want right away. You’ll feel the intensity gradually increase.
5. Use lubricant
If you spend enough time on foreplay and focus on pleasing arousing your partner, you probably won’t need lube to get started. The vagina will be lubricated enough. However, after some time, the vagina will dry out, and you’ll need to use artificial lube.
In general, you should always have lube in your nightstand; you never know when you’ll need it. Using lube will increase sensitivity and reduce discomfort. Silicone lubricant lasts long and feels smooth against the skin.
6. There’s a beginning, middle, and end
Think of fingering like reading a storybook. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end. Fingering is not something that starts off as a bam! You need to start slowly and sensually.
The average woman needs 15-20 minutes to become aroused, and intense fingering action right in the beginning isn’t going to do the trick. Start slowly, and focus on foreplay.
After some time, you can work your way down to the vagina, slowly rubbing and grinding against it. When you feel there’s enough sexual tension, then you can slip a finger underneath her underwear. From there, you can gradually increase your finger technique by sliding your fingers up and down, and in and out of the vulva, hitting the G-spot, and then going for the bullseye which is the clitoris.
7. Use your fingers
Well, what would fingering be without your fingers? Those little guys are the ones who make the magic happen. Fingering a vagina is exactly what it sounds like. After you slip a finger inside, you’ll need to move your finger in and out.
Start with your index finger, and then slip your middle finger in. Feel if it’s wet enough. If it feels a little dry, add lube.
Play around with different speeds and rhythms until you find one which suits her. Start slowly and gradually increase speed.
8. Experiment with touch
When it comes to fingering the vagina, you’ll need to experiment with touch. Every woman is different, and touch is the best way to figure out which fingering action she likes. Women typically enjoy clitoral stimulation, penetration with your fingers, or doing both at the same time.
You can circle, stroke, or rub different parts of the vagina, including the inner/outer labia, and clitoris. Go up and down, side to side, use one or a couple of fingers. While experimenting ask her, “do you like it better when I do this?”
9. Find the G-spot
Once you start fingering her vagina, it’s time to find her G-spot. With your index and middle finger, make a “come here” motion. The G-spot is 2-3 deep and upwards. You’ll feel a rough patch of skin inside the vagina – that’s it.
Once you feel it, start slowly and build the thrusting up. After thrusting for a while, you can mix up your fingering technique and work your way up to the clitoris.
10. Hit the bullseye: The clitoris
If you want to blow her mind, then you need to focus on clitoral stimulation. When it comes to sex, the clitoris is your golden egg; it’s the answer to orgasms. Once you have her going, and you can see she’s highly aroused, then it’s time you have her clit some much-needed attention.
Most women need repetitive clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm; spot stimulation is key. So, find a rhythm that she enjoys and don’t change it when you see her starting to reach orgasm.
11. Find the rhythm
You can slip a finger or two inside of her and move it in and out, but if you don’t find the right rhythm, nothing is going to happen. Focus on finding a rhythm that gets them excited. If your partner is enjoying what you’re doing, don’t switch it up. Rhythmic stimulation is the key to reach orgasm.
If you find the right speed and pressure for your partner, keep it going. The fingering technique could be two fingers, four fingers – it doesn’t matter. What matters is that whatever you’re doing is working.
12. Don’t be shy to let her show you
There may be a moment where she stops you and touches herself in front of you. This is a great opportunity for you to pay attention and see what she’s doing. She’s showing you what she likes and how she likes it.
Watch the movements she’s making and mimic them; her body language will guide you. She knows her vagina better than anyone else.
13. Let her tell you when to stop
This is a common issue when it comes to fingering. Men tend to stop when they feel it’s enough, but, in reality, it takes around 20 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm. Rather than stopping when you feel it’s over, wait for her to tell you when she’s done.
Focus on her body language; she’ll let you know she’s had enough. If your hand is getting sore, trying switching hands or performing oral sex. If you want her to orgasm, don’t pressure her. Let her orgasm when she’s ready.
14. Pay attention to her reaction
As you’re fingering your partner, you’ll notice her behavior change. As she becomes aroused, it’s crucial you pay attention to the sounds and directions they make. If you change the technique and notice her getting quiet, then stop and try something else.
If she’s moaning, shaking, and breathing deeply, you’re on the right track. You need to listen to your partner and learn their body language; once you crack this, the world is your oyster.
15. Keep communication open
Please remember this sex tip: without communication, you won’t have good sex. It’s just that simple. Communication is everything when it comes to sex. You’re not having sex with yourself.
This is with someone with entirely different emotions, preferences, and feelings. Ask your partner what they liked, and what they didn’t like. Don’t take it personally; this is your opportunity to improve.
16. Enjoy the experience
This is an important sex tip. If you want your partner to have fun when you’re fingering her, you’re going to need to relax. There’s nothing worse than watching your partner stress out during intimacy.
If you’re not experienced with fingering, don’t worry. It takes time and practice until you have a pace and technique that suits you and your partner.
Now you know what to do, but it’s also good to know what you need to avoid. Here are six common fingering mistakes you should avoid making.
How to finger when your fingers get tired
If you’re doing this for a while your fingers are likely to get tired. It can help to work with the larger muscle groups like the upper arm and shoulder. To do this, hold your fingers and hand steady and pull upwards from those larger muscles. This will often be more sustainable and may also allow you to provide more intense stimulation for folks who enjoy that.
Keep in mind that some people experience squirting or ejaculation from this kind of stimulation, so it’s a good idea to lay a towel down first so you don’t need to worry as much about clean up.
The most important thing about any kind of sex is that the people involved are enjoying themselves. So while there are techniques you can try, remember that whatever feels good to you is the right thing to do.
Also, don’t forget that it can take time to learn new things, not just for the giver of touch but for the receiver. Our bodies learn over time what pleasure looks like, and it can take a while to get used to a new form of stimulation.
Just experiment and have fun, and make sure to keep an open dialog about what’s working best for both of you.